When I was younger, I looked forward to Memorial Day for many reasons. It was the beginning of summer, it meant a long weekend away from work and usually a road trip of some sort. Of course I knew the real meaning of Memorial Day, but like many people, the loss it signified seemed far away...
For Memorial Day 2007, I went to visit a friend in Santa Barbara, CA. It was a really fun trip. We went to the beach, went to some really fun bars in the city and went to the Long Beach aquarium.
A few days later I was watching the news with my brother. I started to walk upstairs when they said that a local soldier had been killed in Afghanistan. They said that the soldier's name was Jesse Blamires. As soon as I heard it I was in shock. I ran back down the stairs and fell on the floor in front of the TV. They showed the story and flashed his picture on the screen. It was him. My friend was gone.
I had known Jesse years before from working at a call center for Sprint. We were on the same team and we got along immediately. I remember him helping me at work, us hanging out on the weekends sometimes and him showing me what he knew of Capoeira. I remember thinking how glad I was to know him because we were so different and I learned so much from him.
I hadn't spoken to Jesse in years but the knowledge of his death hit me very hard. I knew that he had gotten married a few years before and now had two small children. These beautiful girls would never be able to grow up with their father. They would never know the great person he was. This just hurt me so much.
I went to Jesse's funeral alone. I only knew him. I didn't talk to his family or anyone else that was there. I sat toward the back at the Ward where the service was held. I couldn't stop crying. I had strange thoughts run through my head like, "Why is there a basketball court in the middle of a church?" I felt so weird there by myself, crying and showing all of my emotions so freely. I realized that it didn't matter though. Jesse gave his life in service to our country, I shouldn't feel ashamed to show emotion for that.
Last year I went to Arizona in the spring and went through my old boxes at my parents house. I happened to find a note that Jesse wrote to me. I must have been having a hard time at work because it was a note of encouragement. He told me that I should believe in myself because I was a great person and I just needed to see that for myself. He also told me that he thought I was a great singer. At the very end, he said he would always be my friend. I am still unable to read that note without crying...
Every Memorial Day since 2007, I have remembered Jesse. I know I have a lot of friends and family that have been or are in the military and I am beyond grateful to them for their service. Jesse is the only person I know that has been killed in a war though.
So, this Memorial Day, take a minute or two and try to personalize what the holiday really means. Every year I will remember my friend and the good times we had. Every time I see a Transformers sticker or an old Acura Integra I think of him and smile. Memorial Day is a time to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice and to tell those who are still with us how grateful we are for their service.
Thank you, Jesse. I'll see you on the other side...